As a trainer, I know there isn’t an easy solution when a client is asking what service is right for them. There are so many different approaches to services out there, and so many trainers who will tell you one type of service doesn’t work or another type is the best possible option. And even within a service, the structure of the service typically is adjusted to meet that trainer’s strengths, their training niche, and their communication and teaching style. That’s not a bad thing - that’s a wonderful thing! But options, especially as you’re just starting out, can be intimidating.

Kindness in training, then, requires a great deal of thoughtfulness, and even more nuance.  Nuances I’m still personally untangling, nuances that oftentimes contradict one another.  Approaching things in a thoughtful way, leading with kindness, for me, has yet to mean the implementation of tools in my training plans.  But my experience is not comprehensive. While I have not implemented tools in my personal or professional training, that professional training, my professional growth, my professional education is never complete.  I have seen tools implemented for challenges in painstakingly thoughtful ways, that have inarguably improved the lives of the dogs and of the humans.  I have seen “force free” methods implemented in ways that have been diminishing and unkind to both the dog and the humans involved.  The divide in the training world has less to do with methodology and more to do with an honest assessment of quality of life - for everyone. 

I knew that getting a second dog would be a Herculean task. For years, I wrote off the possibility, was content with Mouse being my one and only dog for the entirety of her life. Overall, we were quite happy with that. Even when I started training full time, I borrowed demo dogs as I needed them, and Mouse was good enough at being neutral that she could help in plenty of scenarios.

There’s no ribbons for reactivity. You’re not prepping for a trial, or a show. Your criteria for behavior is important, but only so far as it serves your goal; decreasing your dog’s threshold over time and ultimately improving your dog’s (and your own!) quality of life.

This past week, we took our Preschoolers to the pet store. This was a BIG outing and a big deal for the three puppies who came with us. They spent a long, single training session working on attention, loose leash walking, sits and downs - all in a bustling, noisy, and delicious smelling store - with people and food and animals all around them. The puppies were of varying ages, between 4 and 6 months old, but all three of them did phenomenally and had a successful and happy socialization and behavior outing.

How did we get here? What I can tell you is that we did not take unknown puppies, bring them straight to a pet store, and hustle them into the door. This was a process - one that was different for each of the pups involved.

The glow-up is real.

Alternately titled: “Humble Brags About My Son and Dog.”

Hell hath no fury.

There’s a reason it’s called getting away from it all.

My daughter got skates for her birthday. She’s very excited about her growing collection of Things With Wheels that allow her to continue to pursue her eternal quest of keeping up with her brother - so far this list includes the skates, her beloved bike, and her brother’s scooter, which she’d prefer everyone consider to be communal property. Getting on the skates was interesting - I’m not at all well versed in skates, or how they fit over shoes, and we didn’t…exactly go for quality right out the gate. Fit was an ordeal. But there was my girl, decked out in protective gear and shiny blue skates, inching down the sidewalk. She hasn’t gotten too far yet. She shuffles and loses her balance a lot. She’s fallen. Fortunately, her favorite song of the moment is from the movie Trolls, so a gentle reminder that Poppy would Get Back Up Again is usually enough to get her to move along.

Except - maybe sometimes we shouldn’t?

We live in a culture of instant gratification. You can stream television, curate your interests and contacts on Social Media, and reach anyone in the world at any time on FaceTime, Skype, or the now COVID-popular Zoom meetings. Even looking for advice on dog training, the internet has oodles of advice without even leaving the comfort of your home. With so many answers available, it seems inevitable that if we play the right card, click the right button, visit the right website or see the right person, we can find the answer and implement the solution to every challenge we face. We want it to be easy.

I frequently talk to clients about dog’s energy needs, and how a walk around the block probably isn’t going to fulfill the physical energy needs for most dogs. We have two legs and our dogs have four - the exercise math simply doesn’t hold up for the majority of adolescent and adult dogs. That doesn’t mean, though, that walks don’t have value, and that we shouldn’t look to have pleasant, satisfying walks around the neighborhood with our dogs. Walks are wonderful outlets for mental energy - allowing your dog the opportunity to sniff around for the news, and to work with you in their training with the variety of environments and distractions your average neighborhood can offer your pet.

There’s an expectation, floating out there in the ether, that as a trainer, your dog should be perfect. I’m not sure where it originates from, or even if it’s something taken truly seriously by anyone for whom it is more than a passing thought, but it is there. I feel it, often, when my dog misbehaves. There is an expectation surrounding professionals that in order to be effective, your personal connection to the same subject must be perfected.

It’s not true.

“Honor the space between no longer and not yet” This quote is going everywhere this week - on the blog, on Facebook and Instagram, on the client newsletter I’ve yet to send out. It’s something I need constant reminding of, that achieving progress is more important that achieving perfection.

Your dog’s genetics, temperament, and interest impacts the ease with which they will pick up certain behaviors. Their environment will impact their ability to implement those behaviors smoothly in the face of distractions. Your commitment and engagement in their training will determine the sustainability and longevity of the cues you’ve trained. Ultimately though, your dog will be trained…when you say they are.

In looking at a timeline for training your dog, after you look at the intrinsic things going on with the dog in front of you, and the environment they’re in, the next step is that ever (un)popular good, hard look in the mirror.

To be honest, you don’t even need to read the post. Just go here.

If you’ve trained with me, you’ve probably heard me say “add distance!” at some point when talking about a scenario where your dog has lost focus and reacts undesirably to the environment around them. This is because once you change your training environment, you’re adding distractions that your dog may or may not be ready to cope with up close. Once you’re aware of the internal factors playing into your dog’s ease of training, the next thing to consider is the external, and how to increase challenge levels gradually to see success in your training. Naturally, the degree to which environmental factors affects your dog focus will depend a lot first on their temperament and interests!

When I am asked about training a dog “How long will this take?” or “How many sessions?” or “When should I expect my dog to do X Y Z…?” I feel that familiar tense in my shoulders. Because, while most folks don’t want to hear me, the trainer, respond to that question with “I don’t know”…guessing feels unfair. And that’s what any answer would be. There are so many factors that play into the answer to the question “When will my dog be trained?”

Showing up to the walk itself, though, is decompression for me as much as it is for the dog. In an environment where we are supposed to do everything - entrepreneurship, career, household, spouse, parenthood - the woods are a welcome retreat. I’ve had such joy watching how dogs react, and watched me react with them. Some just wandered, taking in the sights and smells as they went. Others busily moved from one thing to the next, happily inspecting every rock and tree. Still others seemed overwhelmed with their good fortune, prancing and dancing around me in circles until they settled on a particular scent or track they wanted to follow.