“Hell hath no fury like a reactive dog mom scorned.”
Today, I was supposed to have a decompression hike. Heading out to a quiet park with a trainer friend and our reactive but well-behaved dogs, hike a little, relax in the sunshine, pack up and head home. Simple. That’s always the plan on days off - keep things simple and quiet and enjoy the presence of our own dogs for a while.
That’s how it was supposed to go, anyway. And how it mostly went. Near the end of the walk, we were working down stays and relaxation in an open space near the entry of the park - wide open lawn with at least 30-40 feet on either side. And this older gentleman enters, stage right, with his bull terrier. His bull terrier pulling forward on the leash to access the dogs lying quietly next to us. The dog’s handler allows his dog to pull him, curving through the field rather than remaining on the path, closer and closer to us. Close enough that I need to devote my attention to Mouse, who has gotten tense.
For those of you who have not had a reactive dog, know that every dog has a threshold, and a sense of opportunism. There is a point where, when surprised, getting up and walking away will do you no good because if you stand to get away, your dog will take that instant of inattention and act on it, reacting exactly when you are most likely to lose control of them. Mouse was in that moment.
My trainer friend, bless her, calls out “Hi, her dog is unfriendly, can you give them some space?” Confusing in the moment that follows, I watch my dog grow more tense. What I didn’t know what that, in response to a relatively normal request for space - especially in a pandemic - this man chose to step closer to my dog. And closer. Close enough that my dog hopped up and lunged at the end of the available slack in her leash - about a foot and a half, but enough to clearly tell that she was struggling. I reiterated, as the man stood parallel to me, maybe 10 feet away, that we needed space and that my dog would likely bite his.
“Then hold on to your leash and we won’t have a problem,” came the reply.
My actions next were…not quintessentially professional. But they were calculated. They were calculated because I, in fact, can hold on to my leash. I can handle my reactive dog. I’m confident in the training and practice and time and investment and the community I have around me. I could be strategic, if not strictly nice, in my response because I have spent 9 years working with this dog, observing her, knowing full well what she is capable of and where her threshold hits its breaking point. I could take the actions I did because I could read my dog clearly.
For many reactive dogs and owners, you are at the mercy of the stranger in a moment like that. I’ve been there. I’ve felt how helpless you can feel, how trapped. I truly believe that had I not taken actions that I did, his dog may have been allowed to come up and sniff mine. And that would have been incredibly unsafe, for both of our dogs, as well as potentially for any humans getting involved to break up what would be inevitably, a dog fight.
“Hanging on to your leash” has nothing to do with it. A reactive or aggressive dog, sufficiently motivated, can pull a leash out of an owners hand. Can break a leash or slip their harness. Retractable leashes, which many dogs are walked on (don’t walk your dog on a retractable leash please!), can break or snap or malfunction. Or someone can simply misjudge their distance and let their dog get too close - I can tell you that this approaching dog was well within a normal 6 feet leash radius, had I not had a closer hold on Mouse’s lead. Not to mention, her lead was 20 feet long.
Even if all the dogs (and humans) are kept physically safe, an approach like that can hold sway over so much for a reactive dog. Many dogs are reactive due to fear or anxiety, and their big explosions have more to do with desperately trying to chase off whatever concerns them than anything else. Even if this is not the case, a dog in a frantic emotional state is not enjoying themselves. Seeing this happen when you work hard to avoid it is incredibly disheartening or even scary for the owner of a reactive dog. Reaching that level of distress can set their dog back, causing unseen harm that may take months to undo. I work with these reactive dogs, and their owners. I see how hard the dogs work, how hard their owners work - to improve their relationship with their dog, to build their dog’s confidence, to increase their quality of life. I see the money and time and care and worry they invest in their companions. I hear their frustrations, I see their tears. I’ve had those frustrations, and I’ve cried those tears.
And when I see someone who feels entitled to flush that all down the drain because of their own ego, I get… a little upset. And because I have the leash and handling skills to keep my dog safe, because I have the awareness of my dog to keep her under threshold and have systematically spend years maintaining that threshold, because I know my dog will recover quickly and won’t experience any real setback from the encounter - I acted. I acted, and I hope that this man thinks twice before doing the same thing to another dog, because I work with and know and love too many dogs that would be damaged by his behavior.
When approaching another dog on a trail, please give them space. If space is requested, give them double the space, or as much as the trail allows. Keep moving. I can tell you that if someone is aware that their dog is likely to react and asks you for room, they are working on their dogs responses. They don’t need advice in the moment - they need you to move on so they can attend to their dog’s needs.
If you are declined from being able to greet a dog, say hi to a dog, pet a dog, or have your dog come to play with another dog, please don’t take it personally. It’s not about you. It’s about an owner who is confident and empowered enough to set boundaries for their dog. Our dogs are asked for so much, in a culture that expects every dog to be tolerant of everyone and everything.
If you have a dog who needs their space, stand by it. Congratulations for getting them out and committing to their continued learning and quality of life by bringing them out where they may be challenged by the area that they are in. Ask passers-by for what you need, and don’t feel obligated to compromise you or your dog’s feeling of safety to spare feelings.
And for goodness’ sake, stay 6 feet apart anyway. We’re in a pandemic, after all.
