My dog is sick of me. This may not be the most common quarantine challenge I’m hearing from clients and pet owners, but it’s a real concern at this trainer’s house. Without other dogs to see and play with and train with, Mouse is getting 110% of my training attention, and She. Is. Done.
Uncertainty is challenging for me. And there’s a lot of it right now – uncertainty over job security, over when school will be back in session, over the impact of this virus on our loved ones - what this means for our family, for our community, for our future. So when chaos strikes, I make it orderly. I do things. Over a month into lockdown means that I have written and edited and re-written the daily schedules for myself and the kids at least twenty times. I have lists and folders and saved websites to source out educational materials. I jumped back into parenting books I thought I would never have the time for. I have ordered art supplies and orange nail polish (a story for another blog) and a fire starter.
And it means I have written, and edited, and re-written training plans at least twenty times. And for the
first few weeks, I was noticing something. Especially surrounding certain behaviors, I was not getting the bang for my buck that I would have hoped. I was quickly reminded of something: I have one dog. She is almost 9 years old. And while there is plenty she could learn…she doesn’t want to. She wants to nap in a sunbeam, to sniff out a new hike. She wants to curl up with me and the kids and watch a movie. And sure, she will enjoy training for brief sessions, she doesn’t want to be a demo dog for classes, she doesn’t care about getting a trick title, and she doesn’t need to learn more precise heeling.
I love training. I love working with dogs throughout the day, and I love teaching my group classes in the evening and on weekends. I stress throughout those classes to take breaks when your dog is frustrated or not feeling it – to always remember Pavlov on your shoulder, that classical conditioning is something that is always, always, always going on. That your first priority should be enjoying the time you’re spending with your dog, and your dog enjoying that time with you.
It’s easy to forget, right now. In a culture that values productivity, that measures education in hours spent in a classroom, that stresses forward momentum, it’s so easy to forget that joy is what drives learning, that connection drives progress…that reinforcement drives behavior. I kept it in mind for the kids, mostly. My
kids thrive off of structure, but within their constantly re-evaluated day I’m building time for Yoga, for mindfulness exercise, for exploring nature and connecting to their environment in ways that public school can’t (or doesn’t). I’ve been slowly building in time for “Forest School” – a concept more embraced in European countries, but one that emphasizing growing independence and resilience and connection by setting children (safely) free in the woods with minimal directed activity. Actively and intentionally doing less, to give them space to grow.
I’ve been thankful that my county has been somewhat unique in taking very measured steps toward implementing distance learning, and seem to be considering the novelty – and stress - of this situation in their rollout (thank you, Howard County educators!). But for my dog, I was just asking more and more. Not out of a sense of driving forward necessarily, but because I missed it.
I miss my bonus dogs. I miss mapping out quick hit training goals for multiple dogs, visiting each of them and seeing them all so happy and excited to work – fresh and waiting for me. I miss getting to work briefly, but directly, with puppies in my classes. I love all the extra canine love I am lucky enough to surround myself with.
But in missing that, I need to step back and watch that I am meeting the needs of my own dog, my wonderful, silly, older dog at home. She, as much as any dog in the home during this, needs me right now. Her routine has also been disrupted. And much like the kids, this is an opportunity for her to learn and connect and grow in new and unprecedented ways. But also like our children, that may mean doing less. Connecting more and finding what our dogs need. For some dogs, they may thrive off of that training plan emphasizing new skills and challenges every day. Those training plans, and enrichment puzzles, and food searches – they all have their place, and my hope is that an effect of this lockdown will be dogs and humans learning new ways to play and bond together.
But even busy dogs need a rest. Leave time for that, as much as you’re leaving time for growing mindfulness in our children, for practicing self-care with ourselves. For many of our dogs, fulfillment and connection means a hike with their favorite human, and then a leisurely afternoon nap in their favorite sunbeam. Our dogs are so good at knowing the value of doing less.
We might want to look to them for guidance.
